Grief always arrives at some time in the day when that one person slips away from the you, leaving behind a void that seemed to echo through every corner of your being. In that moment, a sanctuary you had believed was solely yours shatters, leaves you adrift in a sea of grief and uncertainty. This space you had crafted together, where you had felt so secure, so utterly yourself, suddenly feels dark and empty without his/her strong presence around you.
In the wake of her departure, I found myself grappling with a myriad of emotions, each more overwhelming than the last. The pain of her absence cut deep, like a wound that refuses to heal. Memories of our time together flooded my mind, both comforting and agonising in their intensity. Even now, months later, I find myself reaching out to her in moments of despair, only to be met with a deafening silence that serves as a painful reminder of all that has been lost.
There have been countless firsts since she left us, each one a painful reminder of the things she once did, the joy she once brought to our lives. I miss her voice most of all, the sound of it like music to my ears, a source of comfort and reassurance in times of trouble. I still remember the rush of emotion I felt when I stumbled upon a short voicemail she had left me just days before her passing. It was a precious gift, a fleeting reminder of the love and affection she had always showered upon me. Yet, even as I listened to her words, I couldn’t shake the overwhelming sense of loss that threatened to consume me.
It’s strange, isn’t it, how grief can make you feel so utterly alone, even when surrounded by loved ones? I have kept my sorrow hidden, tucked away behind a facade of strength and stoicism, for fear of burdening others with the weight of my pain. There is a stigma surrounding grief, a belief that one should simply “get over it” and move on with their lives. But how can I move on when every fibre of my being still aches for her presence, for the warmth of her embrace, for the sound of her laughter echoing through the halls?
Grief, I’ve come to realise, is not just a feeling, but a burden to bear, a weight that settles upon the soul and refuses to be shaken off. It manifests itself in so many ways, from the physical pain that gnaws at my heart to the overwhelming sense of emptiness that threatens to consume me whole. And yet, despite the pain it brings, grief is also a testament to the depth of the love we shared, a reminder that even in death, our bond remains unbroken.
I often find myself wondering what she would say if she were here with me now, how she would comfort me in my darkest moments of despair. She was my rock, my confidante, the one person who truly understood me in a way that no one else ever could. Her absence leaves a void that cannot be filled, a longing that cannot be quenched, a grief that knows no bounds.
But amidst the pain and sorrow, there is also a glimmer of hope, a flicker of light that refuses to be extinguished. For in the midst of my grief, I am reminded of the love we shared, the memories we created, and the bond that will forever unite us, even in death. And though the road ahead may be long and fraught with obstacles, I take solace in the knowledge that she will always be with me, guiding me, comforting me, and reminding me that love endures, even in the face of the greatest of losses.
Grief is not brief. It might seem so for a while but here it comes . Always looming . You do not feel like that until you see it appear after you are so relaxed for a minute. Then remembrance comes so sharp as a razor to jolt you the event you wished with every fibre of your being never happened,
Grief is missing that essence that made your heart glad.
As one is navigating this thing called grief i am always comforted by the word of God that gives me confidence “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted”. Matthew 5:4 To me this means the Lord will wrap his arms of love and comfort around those who trust him. So be happy, do not worry, it’s all good.
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